Heads up: If you don't like f-bombs, you won't like this post. Don't say I didn't warn you.
I got a question for you: Who are you? No seriously, like WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? Not your first or last name. Not your Instagram handle. Not your nickname from high school (come on, that was like 75 years ago, stop it.) Not your job title. But, WHO are you?
Do you ever ask yourself that question? I do. All the time. Probably too much.
Over the years, and through many a tribulation, I've forced myself to take a long look at the man in the mirror. The truth is, I'm a lot of things, some great, some slightly less than tolerable.
I'm still figuring it all out, because you never stop figuring it out, but what I know so far: I'm an overthinker. I'm a writer. I'm a rockstar wannabe. I'm a believer in accountability and integrity. I'm sometimes selfish, always empathetic. I'm angry. I'm a perfectionist. I'm a cynical realist and a disgruntled idealist. I'm an over-judger of others and of myself. I'm a smartass. Sometimes a dumbass. I'm a husband with a lot to learn. I have a gentle soul but a quick frustration trigger. I'm a lover of animals and a hater of bullies. I'm broken, but I'm cool with that. I eat too many Chewy SweeTARTS. I'm a wandering soul with a functioning moral compass. I battle anxiety but keep fighting the good fight. I don't believe in a magic guy in the sky, but I have faith there's still more good than bad out there. I'm typically funny and often annoying. I'm not a people-person but I know how to switch on the social charm. I'm not a conspiracy theorist...
I could go on and on about me, but in summary: I'm a decent dude with a shit ton of work to do.
That list is constantly growing, and I don't have it all nailed down, but one thing I know for sure: I'm one self-aware sumbitch. I know myself — ugly spots and beauty marks — I just don't always know what to do with that knowledge.
So, when I ask "WHO are you?" What I really mean is what do you stand for? What drives you? What do you value? And in the words of Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, "what do you give a fuck about? Because what you give a fuck about says a lot about who you are."
Fuck it, let's make a list.
To help me figure out what I give a fuck about I'm currently working on my "fuck-it" list. Nope, not a bucket list — those are weird and remind me that I'm going to die someday. A fuck-it list is a long list of all the shit I want to stop caring about so I can care about more important shit.
For example. here are a few "fuck-its" that have made the cut so far:
- What people think about me. (Spoiler alert: Most people don't think about me.)
- What was, what isn't, what might be, and what I think should be. (In other words, trying to live in and accept the present moment.)
- Having everything figured out before I decide to start. (Perfectionism kills.)
- People in my life no longer in my life. (It happens.)
- Brewers and Packers wins and losses. (Ha! Right. Good luck, me.)