Frustrated, Incorporated.

First off, let me apologize to my loyal readers — all three of them. I’m not doing a very good job of being a blog writer. When I started this thing, my goal was to write a post a week. Then it went down to once every two weeks. Lately, I’m lucky to get one out per month. Not impressed with myself. I set my expectations too high. I do that. I’ll try harder.

It’s not an excuse, but my day job is really getting in the way these days. It’s been nonstop. I feel a big bad burnout coming on. I write for a living and some days the last thing I want to do is write when I get home at night. That’s sad to me, because I love to write.

You ever wonder “what for”? You bust your ass every day and end up in the same place you started. Does that make any sense at all? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Isn’t that insanity defined? Whatever.

The last few weeks have been a bit trying to say the least. With me, when it rains, it downpours — fucking typhoon style. I get myself into situations. Not sure what it is about me. I get in my own way on a consistent basis. Just when things are running smoothly, I find a way to jack up the whole system. I got a knack for making sure things don’t get too good. It’s a talent that has been perfected through years of diligent practice. Please don’t try this at home.

Not sure where I’m going with any of this. I guess if anything, this post is about frustration. One step up, three steps back.

It’s tough out there. But we keep on keepin’ on. That’s impressive when you think about it. We’re a resilient bunch. Yes, sometimes my frustration turns me into a top-notch asshole (I blame stupid people), but for the most part I look at my ability to bounce back as a badge of honor.

Frustration can be a good thing. It means you give a shit. It means things aren’t quite what you want for yourself and you feel you deserve better. If you’re not a little frustrated with where you are, maybe it means you’ve thrown in the towel. Maybe you’ve settled for whatever life has decided to throw at you. I don’t believe in settling. Sure, I need to learn to be a little more “still,” but I’m never going to settle.

Now, there comes a point when you have to be able to realize a good thing when you see it. Always looking for better when you already have it good isn’t healthy either. That’s a whole other level of frustration and solid material for a future blog post. But you’ll know when you’re settling. You’ll know when things just aren’t good enough. Settling is a nagging little voice that doesn’t shut up.  Settling is obvious. At least it is to me. That’s when the frustration sets in — and gets me off my ass.

Frustration, when properly incorporated, can be your friend — a trusted colleague, always there for you, ready to lend a helping hand. I’m working on building a long-lasting relationship with my old pal. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

First thing on my list: get out of my own goddamn way.

JS