So, Happy Halloween, here’s a post about death.
Not sure why, but lately I’ve been letting the idea of my own mortality bounce around in my head. I’ve thought about dying before. Probably as much as anybody else. But as of late my ultimate demise has been a bit more top-of-mind. I catch myself thinking about the fact that some day I’m going to wake up on my last day. It’s a strange, empty, but almost liberating feeling to know that you’re temporary.
Time keeps flying by, faster every year, the past gets further and further away, and every day we’re one day closer to our last. Nobody gets out of this alive. Every single person on the face of this earth will one day be no longer. In less than 90 years from right now (which by the way isn’t very long in the grand scheme of things) almost everybody on the planet today, will be gone. Think about that for a second. For some reason that blows my mind.
Death is a for sure. And it can happen whenever and wherever it feels like happening.
But I don’t think I’m afraid of dying. Well, maybe a little. But everybody has to do it — so that takes some of the scare out of it. What I’m really afraid of is a wasted life. I’m scared of taking in my last breath and feeling like I haven’t done shit with my time here. I’m terrified of getting to the end before I find the things I’m looking for. And I’m haunted by the thought of running out of time without having made a big enough dent.
I just got the chills. Pretty scary stuff if you think about it. Maybe I should just stop thinking about it. Easier said than done.
So there you have it, some thoughts on death. That wasn’t so bad. I think we all need a reminder now and then that we’re not here forever. It’s a motivator. Puts things in perspective. Makes you think about the size of the dent you’re making.
No more posts about death for awhile. Once a year is more than enough. I feel depleted.
Look for the next one a year from today.JS